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The Life of Mine :)

Out Of Word
Thursday, 31 October 2013 | 03:50 | 0comments
Auzubillahhiminasyaitanirajim . Bismillahirahmanirahim . We as your servant in this world , seeking your graces upon us . Amin .

Assalamualaikum , hi :) Today ? Many things happened today , too many things . But I will tell it sequencely . The begining of the day was quite smooth . Well , not so smooth I say . What I meant was , it was a mixture of horibble and disaster . How "smoooth" was that ? Okay , stop pulling any stupid jokes Hanan . Get serious ! Okay , the thing was like this . At the early of the morning , I spent my time away from 4 Sains . Dont get it wrong , I did that because I wanted to clear my mind from things that kept on disturbing my blood from regulate freely in my cardiac system . I went to meet someone , I cant figured why I seek his advice about this . We then , have a discussion about my problems . I was kind of cranky when it comes to friends problems . Hemmm .. I have been thinking about this since I fainted at the school , I was worried if I am still in the dillema . The dillema that I faced was , which one is friend and which one is not ? I knew I have been doing something that is not right in the rules and regulations of friends in Islam . I kept secret . I knew if I keep on bury this thing in myself . I cant focus on my study . So , to ease things . I've made a decisions to meet Lisya . I choosed to talk to her because she was the mainest subject among all students in 4Sains . I told her what am I supposed to tell . Then , Lisya told me . Lisya said that puyi had a misunderstood with me .   She became cold when I started to talk to her . She said she was kind of offensed with my letter to nabilaa . The tagline was this - " Beware of your bestfriend " At first , I really thought it was about faezun but things were not . That was because I told puyi it was not her , she was kinda hesitated with my explaination . Conversation did not literally end there . I thought it was , but no . Then Lisha aked nabila to get down and discussed this matter correctly . So , everyone was on the same table . Then suddenly , nabila explained again . It was about the LETTERRRRRRRRR . I was in a state of shock . Darn it , I slipped on my explaination to puyi just now . Great , things got more worser when Lisya told me that zila said that when I came to her house I said " sayo to kecek gapo-2 hok buruk pasal awok zila , sep-2 ni dok oyak . Sayo dok diye jaa " An adrenaline nerve reached my nerve system . WHEN DID ON EARTH I TOLD HER LIKE THATTTTTTT ???! I rather jump on 20th floor apartment than not telling what was the truth . Zila , if you did remember correctly , I told you different things . Dont you remember ? I apologised to you because I had said something evil about you on my twitter and at the school when you were absent ? Please , think of it again zila . Aiman get pissed and decided to left the conversation . I knew she was mad at me . But no mind aiman , I dont put the blame on you . I still rather to said it IS my fault then . About puyi and nabila . Maybe I took it too serious until I told nabila what puyi said about her . I just thought it could sarcasms or what . But when lisya told me " Hanan , awok keno fehe . Sep-2 kito ni kalu gaduh , tuu gurau jaa " Okay , I understood . None of your piece of hair will be my bussiness from now on . But when things are conveyed to nabila , puyi and lisya .  I cant literally described it but it does feels good . I felt like , half of my burden suddenly vanished awayyyy . Yes , maybe Allah SWT tested me with things like that so that I can ensure that I wont repeating the same things again . It was also one of the challenges for human to bear . Maybe I will have to start from zero again . I dont mind because maybe I shall be rewarded with better things out there if I do it . From now on , I will just keep my mouth and act shut . It was not because I cant fight back , it is jus not a norm of human bein to do that . IAM SORRY FOR THOSE WHO HAD UPSET WITH MY WAY . I'll change to better muslimah . Amin .
The actual purpose we live in this WORLD .
Friday, 2 August 2013 | 15:24 | 0comments
Assalamualaikum dear Muslims :) I' ve done a research about something that is really really IMPORTANT to me as a Muslim that showed me , what the purposes that we human lived in this world . Firstly , let me show you this verse that may open your heart that shows you what a LIFE means actually for us who hold the belief of the beautiful ISLAM :')

Our weight was only meant to be carried by God . We are told in the Quran : " .. Whoever rejects evil and believes in God hath grasped the most trustworthy hand-hold that never breaks . And Allah hears and knows all things . " (Qur'an , | 2: 256)

There is crucial lesson in this verse : that there 's only one hand hold that never breaks . There is only one place where we can lay our dependecies , there's only one relationship that should define our self-worth and only one source from which to seek our ulimate happiness , fulfillment and security . That place is Allah SWT .

We as human are made to seek , love and strive for what is perfect and what is permanent . We are made to seek what 's eternal . We seek this because we were not made for this life . Our first and true home was Paradise : a land that is both perfect and eternal . So the yearning for the that type of life is a part of our being . The problem is that we try to find it here . And so we create ageless creams and cosmetic surgery in a desperate attempt to hold on - in attempt to mold this world into what it is not , and never will be ~ 

And that is why , if we live in world (dunya) with our hearts , it breaks us :( that is why this dunya hurts . It is because the definition of dunya , as something TEMPORARY and IMPERFECT , goes against everything we are made to yearn for . Allah SWT put a yearning in us that can only be fulfilled by what is eternal and perfect :) By trying to find fulfillmant in what is fleeting , we are running after a hologram .. A mirage . We are digging into concrete 
Losing another Beautiful Star of my life :'(
Monday, 29 July 2013 | 21:38 | 0comments
Assalamualaikum , Hi again guys :') What do you feel when you lose your BFF ? For me , I felt like my life is HOPELESS and the end of everything . That's what happened if I lose My Stars who always shines in my Life :'( My BFF was always there when I'm in pain and in laughter . I wrote this post while reminiscing back my memories with Farzana Aimi :') I hoped she read this but sadly she never know because .. umm , depends on her laa :\ Well Farzana , just want you to know that I never had a friend like you . Seriously said . It's very hard  no no too hard I said to encounter someone like you . We've met on 3rd January 2013 and End up on 22nd of July 2013 . I didn't know that becoming a friend with you shall make you suffered . Ended the relationship of us was your choice . Farzana , I won't put the blame on you :') You have the right to do that . If you think I lied to you on any thought , that shows you didn't knew me well Farzana . I am maybe a liar . But with you , conveying everything is a  MUST for me . Sadly , you never did believe it right ? Yeah , no mind . I've already figured out this kind of friend :) I did blocked you on Twitter and Facebook , do you think it was easy for me to decide ? No , it was hard . Instead , more harder than PMR question that I get through on 2012 :( I did that on purpose so you can forget me forever and forget the burden of mine that you bear for the past 7 months you knew me :'I That's was hard Farzana bytheway thanks again :') You can forget me and those memories with me but I don't know why I CANNOT do that . I tried it , ZILLION times ! But it did not worked ! That's the effect of knowing someone that made me felt like I never had someone like them before :\ Okay , that's all I wanted to write now :') Farzana , I promised you I won't and never forget the memories of us . If you want to forget it , just do it :') If its really can made you happier :'I And One Fine Day , I'll meet you and then you'll know what's the meaning of BFF :'| Thanks anyway for being my friend once :')

Remember this ? The last movie that we watched together at Mid Valley on Monday :)

My First and Last Man . My Machoman :3
Sunday, 28 July 2013 | 20:10 | 0comments
Assalamualaikum , Hi guys ! ^^ Lately , my mood is getting brighter than a sun . Well , there is someone that I .. Wait-2 , first of all . Let me ask you , do you ever had a boyfriend before ? I mean for my case , I NEVER had A BOYFRIEND for the past 16 years :O Shock is it ? Haha , I'm speechless with it :) Okay , let me continue now . His name is Meor Khairul Akmal B. Mohammad Asri :) Anyway , he is from 4A5 class and a handsome prefect who always wore white pant and a blue shirt <3 Was given birth at Selangor . Sadly , I haven't know his birth date yet :'(

As I remembered back , the very first time I met him was when I walked out of the canteen then my friends went to him and gave him a drink . He drank it but he doesn't seem satisfied with that then I don't know what's got into me , I suddenly gave him my drink . Well , he looked very tired at the KRS marching . Pitied when at his condition :( So , I just continued walking headed to my class . Day by day , lots of my friend said to me " Hanan , Meor kirim salam " at Pendidikan Agama Islam (PAI) class and I was wondering , who is Meor ? Back then , I remembered " Oh yelaa , mamat macho tuu " . Firstly , I thought that maybe he is joking with what he did . But , the cutest thing that he did was EVERYDAY , he sent his regard to me through my friends , it's sweet though :') A month had passed , I then had a Friend Request on Facebook . It was him :) At first , I kind of blurred then I was like - Oh Shot ! It's him ! I was going to Log Out from Facebook because - I Hate Facebook recently . It's kinda annoyed -_- But , a chat was sent . "Tuupp" From Meor Khairul :3 So , called off about logging out from Facebook . We chat this and that , started to know each other and the sentences that I couldn't forget is 

" Saya selalu tengok awak dalam diam, hahaha jujur k jujur " .
"Jyeah and saya pun sama
Awak baik, awak pendiam. Saya suka perempuan pendiam
Lagi satu saya tak tipu, semenjak awk datang sekolah ni. Saya tenung awak lama-lama
Then, ada crush k.
Buktinya, berapa kali saya suruh kawan saya kirim kan salam? Hahaha"

He described me as "pendiam" :) Funny thing is , Pendiam is totally not me . I became pendiam only when I had to blast my mind to think about this and that and all stuff related with this -  Physic , Chemistry , Biology , Homework , English presentation , family and people that I cared - But , since I am with him . My life is getting Shining and happier ? Yeap , that's the word :) The beautiful day is 26 of July 2013 :) I hoped it last till Married ? Haha , yes :) It's because he is my first boyfriend and I never had the experience of having boyfriend before . Hoping he can guide me to Islam better :) Meor , have you read this already ? Yes ? Then you know how my feeling toward you . Emm , truthfully , this is first time I got this feeling . A feeling that made you loved someone without a reason . He just came and I am pleasant with him :) Hemm , undescribeable feeling :3 But , really glad to know him :)

Saturday, 13 July 2013 | 00:22 | 0comments

 Hi ya guys :) Assalamualaikum ! Hows your day ? Mine ? It always goin to be TIRED ! I don't know why , but I think by age of 30 , I've already act like "nanny" . You know , old , unable to do things properly , nagged a lot and etc ~ But , however ! This is not what I'm going to write about . I want to share some significant thing in my life which is called BFF . FYI dudes , BFF stands for "BestFriend Forever" not "BoyFriend Forever" . I'm explaining this because some people thought it wrong . Now , I hope you get what the real "BFF" means -_-

Okay , back to it ! So now , I would write about my BFF . Usually , I'm kinda picky in choosing BFF . But this one , I don't know why ~ Something interesting about her . You may not believe this but since I lived for 16 years in world , I've never had a friend like her before . By that I mean there's only a word could express her - "Friend In Need Is Friend Indeed" Well , this is her . One thing about her that made me happy was her Smile . Like a child who smiled without any sign of problem :) Yeah , SMILE :)

So , her full name is Farzana Aimi Binti Fareed Hossain :) You might wanna know , I treat her like my boyfriend ! Hahaha XD So funny when I had to know how is she , call her , chat with her at Fb and Twitter , worrying like hell about her ALL THE TIME ! But currently , I start to stop it since she had someone special in her heart . Like I said , I want herto concentrate on what she wanted in her life . Okay , the very first time I met her was in SMK Petaling , dated on 3/1/2013 . Hahaha XD It's kinda funny when I it comes about reminiscing back my memory with the ol' friends at SMK Petaling . Then , I entered 4 Sains kelas which provide science stream subject (trust me , the subject are HELL complicated -_-) . Then , I walked in like a nerd ! You know ; head down , look liveless ,  less talk , wondering the eyes somewhere the class and all of kinda thing that related to thiss ! -> NERD ! I didn't know where should I sit , but then I saw an emptied table and chair which was mean non of the student had choosen that place . So , simple thought of mine "those are meant for me !" Haha :D How derp am I that time ? :B Then I continued my day by sat on my chair and here we go ! Farzana turned back and look both of us ( Yasmeen and I ) then she asked Yasmeen first "Hi ! bla-bla-bla-bla ~" Hahaha :D guess what ? At first , I thought that she only going to ask yasmeen but then I slipped . She did asked me and she also introduced herself to me and so do I . The sentences that I shall not forget was " Hai , nama saya Farzana Aimi . Panggil Farzana ! Jangan panggil Zana ke apake-apake ~ " Haha XD that was truelly damn funny ! Then , we start lepaking together at the kantin , sciences lab whereby Syiirin , Hartini and two of uses stick together . Then , the part that I remembered most was when I incharged to hospital . Syiirin and Farzana supported me the most :') Not just them , 4 sains and friends from other class did visited me . Thanks guys :') And Kak Nad and Raja Izzaty did the same thing too . I wasn't expected that they gonna visited me , and I was like , touched you know :'3 Thanks again seniors T^T Haha :D When her birthday came , I planned to blast it ! Which was 29 April ~ I did but I wasn't able to be there by her side during that evening . I seek Radhi help to get the cake from the bakery shop . He did , thanks bro ! So , I wanted to celebrated "again" that night . I did and again , I asked Radhi to take me there so .. OKAY-2 ! I cut it short ! I don't wanna bring it up again of what happened that night ! I mean the WHOLE night ! It does hurted but no mind , past is past even though I didn't take it as past -_- haha XD What the shit am I talking about -_-" So uh , month by month passed and our relationship getting I'm not sure but casual is the right word :) We had some misunderstanding between us both . But then , I made the decision to confronted with her and trying to convey things so the misunderstood between us both gone . Then , she said by herself that she really "like him" . After a while trying to take things easy , I finally understand . She loved him ,what the hell can I do ? Its her choice Hanan , let it be :') So now ,  the misunderstood between us vanished . Thanks to Allah , He know what best for me and her . I hope that he take a good care of you . Or else , Im gonna kicked his ass very damn hard ! Don't play with her heart . It hurt enough what happened to her during the first-love with _ J_ _ -_- Okay , so that's all for tonight . I mean , not night . It kinda early in morning which was 3.40 am :) Byee there , assalamualaikum :3
Wednesday, 10 July 2013 | 02:57 | 0comments
Assalamualaikum , Hi folks :) First day of Ramadhan right ? Yeah :) So , the great news is I'm crying at school . Well , everything was very pressured ! I mean like yeah , my family problem is the mainest =( When the Sains Sukan class finished , I met the teacher . I want to explained what happened to my textbook . But , I didn't even say any word yet , my eyes was raining . Seriously , don't know why :( I feel like going to faint on that time , but NO ! Need to be tough Girl ! Then , teacher said it was nevermind . Just go get another one at the SPBT , thanks Allah :') Jade , WenXin was by my side all the time saying " hanan , don't cry . " Well , never had a Chinese friends before ~ Now , I understand , Chinese are friendly , they not even Racism ! That is WOW :) So , spent my time crying at the surau with Nada . She was shocked seeing my in that situation , Nada would be the bestest friend that a one single human could have :') Love you Nada ! Then , played the chess at first floor . After that , I headed home as fast that I can . When I reach home , I was very damn upset ! Cause my mom don't even ask me , how my day was :'( So , I just keep my mouth shut and write all the crazy things that happened today in my blog ! Well , I felt quite better now AND until now I realized , " Don't Appreciate Someone Who Doesn't Appreciate You ! " Yeah ! That's my motto ! Cause , I had seriously enough with this kind of thing ! Come on Hanan ! Move on ! Your live is waiting for you to explore them ! Kick the person's ass when they didn't appreciate you ! Okay , so that's all for today . Selamat Berpuasa to all Muslims all over the world ! May Allah SWT bless us :)
What a day -_-
Wednesday, 3 July 2013 | 06:47 | 0comments
Assalamualaikum , hi :) Its me again . It seems that 3rd of July is so freaking damn tired day -____- Stayed back until 2 pm . More worst ! I slept during the assembly . Nice , great job hanan >_< Okay , I'll started from the beginning of the day . Lots of teachers are not teaching , cause they're busied with "Pameran Kawad Kaki" . Even so , Sains sukan seemed quiet fun :) We're given a chance to use the material that a doctor use to take the blood pressure of a patient . Seriously , the best one of the day :) Then , during recess time was like usually - Eat , chat , drink , laughing like hell . Then , we got up to our class and "lepaking" with Ratchel and Maria . Talked about K-pop >_< They're so addicted to it ! So do I :3 Later , we went to the 4th floor because there was Pameran about kawad kaki and etc. . We're not allowed to go back home until the exhibits finished , suck -_- When the clock was on 1.55 pm , we already got back . After I finished fare welling with my friends , I headed up to the station bus and waited U68 bus . Then , when the bus came , I ride it , drop off at the station bus that I use to waited when I was in SMK Petaling . Then , while waiting for someone at the bus stop , out of the blue , I saw HER and Asykin . Haha :D Cute little buddies :3 HER with her prefect blue hijab and blue-black shirt and kinda red-spectacle and I know , she's tired and Asykin was pink ! Haha XD Too cute , seriously :') Missed the old time with them :'( However , she didn't see me . Maybe she's busy , that's why I didn't suddenly appear like hell in front of HER and Asykin . They'll get shock I guess , especially after all those things that happened between us both :( Then , found the "someone" and we headed home together by bus . So umm , this is what I faced today :) I am not saying its a boring day , I said what a day ~ Confuse ? Yeah , me too ^^ Byee :) Until we meet again in another post , Assalamualaikum :) May Allah bless us all :')

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Hi livingthings :)
Assalamualaikum , Hi :) Ini kisah hidup saya . Bosan ? Dipersilakan blahh dari blog saya :)
Love yourself before you love others :)

Guess what ?
Hanan | 16 | 08051997| Nerd | Sri Sentosa Student | That's all | Byee ! Hey , My Heart is not a game that you can easily play with :) Watch out :)

I loved
Myself , My life , Meor Khairul , SHINee , Guitar :)